My parents Journey to the West

Khenh Ichikawa Do
Apr 11, 2022
12 min read

Updated: Apr 1

Just like the famous Chinese Story of a Buddhist monk traveling to the west with his disciples encountering many obstacles.. Here is the story of my parents journey to the west and the hardships they faced...

North Vietnam

During the French rule of Vietnam between 1925 and 1933, nearly 600,000 Chinese emigrated to North Vietnam including my great grandparents and in the Second Sino-Japanese war that took place from 1937 to 1941, many Chinese left for South Vietnam but my great grandparents remained in the North.

1955

My paternal grandfather, 杜甫世, was born on 15th June 1927 in China, and my paternal grandmother, 凌亞妹, on 11th October 1929, also in China.

My great-grandparents and grandparents later moved to North Vietnam during the French colonial period, where they bought a modest home in a densely Chinese-populated area of Haiphong. On 7th February 1955, my father - their first child - was born there. My grandparents went on to have three more sons and one daughter.

Their house was the only one on the street with its own well inside. All the other houses had to share a communal well located a short distance away.

Haiphong had both Chinese bilingual schools and Vietnamese public schools, which went up to tenth grade. Education was fee-based, so children could only continue studying if their families could afford the tuition each term.

Before 1954, families could choose Chinese-taught schools, although even then, around a third of the day was taught in Vietnamese. Schools ran for the full day. After 1954, however, schooling was reduced to half days and became much more politically focused.

Parents who wanted their children to receive a broader education would often send them to public schools instead of private bilingual ones. My dad and his siblings all attended school and became fluent in reading and writing both Vietnamese and Chinese. My dad did not continue into further education, as he chose to start working at a young age.

My grandmother sold vegetables at the local outdoor market, while my grandfather worked in a nearby factory. Life was simple. My dad worked as a rickshaw bike boy to earn extra pocket money, and his siblings sold ice lollies on street corners, which brought in a decent income.

The neighbours were close-knit and friendly, although they would sometimes argue over small things, like sweeping rubbish onto each other’s side of the yard. Crime was rare. Doors were often left wide open, and people would sit and eat outside, sharing dishes with one another. Everyone knew everyone else’s business.

Here are some photos of my grandfather’s house when we visited on 23rd October 2019. From the outside, it still looks much the same, although the inside has since been converted into two storeys with stairs. Back when my grandfather owned it, they had to use a ladder.

1956

My maternal grandparents, 黃秀貴 (born 1932) and 林瓊珍 (born 28th July 1935), lived in a village in Quảng Ninh, in the Hạ Long Bay area. It was there that their first child, my mother, was born on 24th December 1956. They later went on to have five more sons and one daughter.

Life in the village was very simple. Houses on the islands were basic and built with the help of neighbours. A home could be put up in about a week using mud bricks for the walls, coconut thatch for the roof, and packed earth for the floor.

These one- to three-room houses had no electricity or plumbing. Oil lamps were used for lighting, and water was drawn from a well. Cooking was done over a wood fire inside the house. When it rained, the entire house might be covered with a sheet of plastic.

Toilets were simply any convenient spot further up the hill. Bathing was infrequent and basic - people would collect a bucket of water, hang cloths between trees for privacy, and wash themselves using the water from the bucket.

As the eldest child, my mum stopped going to school as soon as she was old enough to work so she could help support the family. Because of this, she only learned to read and write in Vietnamese, not Chinese.

She later worked in a factory producing tiles, cycling a couple of hours each day to and from work. Bicycles were the main form of transport on the islands, and only a few people owned one.

My grandfather was heartbroken seeing how hard she had to work, and he wanted her to move to the city for a better life.

Photos of my mum when she was a teenager

Unfortunately mums village is now deep under water due to flooding over the years so we were unable to visit during our family trip back in 2019.

1972

Living through the Vietnam War was not easy. People had to be constantly ready to seek shelter at the sound of air raid sirens, and it was not the first time Haiphong had been bombed.

Operation Linebacker II was an aerial bombing campaign carried out by the United States against North Vietnam during the final stage of the war. It took place from 18th to 29th December 1972 and is often referred to as the “December Raids” or the “Christmas Bombings”.

In Vietnam, it is more commonly known as “12 Days and Nights” (12 ngày đêm) or “Dien Bien Phu in the air” (Chiến dịch Điện Biên Phủ trên không). The campaign was intended to be a “maximum effort” bombing operation, targeting key areas in Hanoi and Haiphong. It became one of the largest heavy bomber campaigns carried out by the U.S. Air Force since World War II

My dad was 17 when Haiphong was bombed. He was on his way to Hanoi for work at the time. Thankfully, his family were all safe, but sadly he lost a close friend in the bombing.

Both my mum and dad grew up with the fear of being bombed. It is not a life any child should have to go through.

1976

My maternal grandfather asked around to see if there were any suitable bachelors for my mum to marry, and that is when word reached my paternal grandfather. The two families agreed to meet.

Arranged marriages were very common back then, but both sets of grandparents decided to let my parents meet and decide for themselves.

So my parents met - and were instantly attracted to each other (…at least that is what they told me). They dated for a while before getting married in 1977.

Here are some of the places my parents used to go on dates, which we revisited in October 2019: the pagoda in the park, the lake near my dad’s house, the cinema, and the harbour where my mum would take the boat back to Quảng Ninh. The harbour has since been closed and replaced with a road bridge.

1977

On 16th February 1977, my dad - along with his best man - got on their bicycles and cycled for four hours to my mum’s village to “collect the bride”… yes, four hours!

Cars were not very reliable back then and often broke down, so they were not recommended for long journeys.

They stayed for the wedding ceremony and banquet with my mum’s side of the family.

The very next morning, on 17th February 1977, they cycled another four hours back to Haiphong (I am still not sure whether they did this in their wedding attire!). There, they held a second wedding ceremony and banquet with my dad’s side of the family.

My dad had hired a photographer to capture their big day, and they officially registered their marriage on 29th April 1977.

Mum was 20 and Dad 22 on their wedding day

1978

My mum’s siblings often visited after she got married. My uncle still remembers how surprised he was when he found out that my dad’s family had their own water well and toilet inside the house. They always looked forward to visiting. It was also where they tried ice lollies for the first time - something my dad’s family sold to make a living.

My uncle told me these stories not long ago, with a huge smile on his face.“Happy memories,” he said.

Life was simple, but tensions between newly reunified Vietnam and China led to a mass exodus in 1978. Around 150,000 ethnic Chinese fled Northern Vietnam for China due to fears of war, fuelled by rumours of an imminent Chinese attack and fears of being rounded up, jailed, or even executed.

Towards the end of April, my mum’s side of the family packed their belongings and left Quảng Ninh for Haiphong. They all stayed at my dad’s house for one night, planning to leave for China the following day.

It was a sad evening. Not knowing what lay ahead, they went to bed early and woke before first light. They took only some clothes and valuables. My grandfather locked the front door with a chain and padlock, and then they set off for the journey to China, with my mum four months pregnant. They left at dawn to avoid being caught by the Vietnamese police.

I am still unsure exactly how they made the journey to China, but I know it was by land. I will update this when I find out more.

My uncle told me that some family members remained in Vietnam after they left and tried to protect the house from locals who attempted to claim it. However, it was not long before the government reclaimed many of the abandoned homes.

Over the past 10 years, many of my uncles - and even us - have visited my grandfather’s old house. It felt strange knowing that, technically, it once belonged to our family, but had been taken over and given to new tenants. Nevertheless, the people living there have always been very friendly and have welcomed us in to take a look around.

The Chinese government closed its border to Vietnam in July 1978, after around 150,000 refugees had crossed - nearly half of the ethnic Chinese population in Northern Vietnam, many of whom were highly skilled.

My uncle’s wife was still on the Vietnam side when the borders closed, and my grandfather had to pay a large sum of money to bring her across into China.

Many Chinese families, including mine, settled in Ningming on the Quyang State Farm. They made a living planting pineapples, which became a key cash crop. The settlement was set up for refugees in late 1978 and became self-sufficient within a year.

On 3rd September 1978, my parents’ first child - my brother Chin - was born.

At the Ningming centre, thousands of families were helped to locate relatives abroad so they could be resettled. My maternal grandmother was able to locate her brother in Taiwan, who was living there with his family and working as a high-ranking general for the government.

We did not have any family in the West, but during this time my uncle decided he wanted to move to Canada to start a new life. He took a two-week boat journey to Hong Kong in December 1978.

Here are some photos of NingMing in the early 1980's.

Here are some photos of NingMing when my Dad and brother went back to visit in 1989

1979

Three months later, in March 1979, my uncle sent a letter to my parents to let them know he had arrived safely in Hong Kong and had secured refugee status. By June 1979, when my brother was just nine months old, it was decided that my parents would also leave, taking my brother with them, and become part of the “Boat People” to seek refuge in Hong Kong.

The journey was tough. Hundreds of people were crammed into a wooden boat, where my parents and brother spent two weeks crossing rough seas. My mum was three months pregnant at the time. Many passengers became severely ill.

By the time my parents arrived in Hong Kong, my brother Chin was already very sick. He passed away in hospital in June 1979, at just nine months old.

My parents were then placed in the Sham Shui Po refugee camp.

A woman who lost her husband is called a widow. A man who lost his wife is called a widower. A child who lost his parents is called an orphan. But there is no word for a parent who lost their child because there is no word to describe the pain

My parents were devastated. At the time, the handling of refugee deaths was managed by the Hong Kong government, so to this day I still do not know whether my brother was cremated or buried.

This is the last photo my dad took with my brother Chin in China, before they left for Hong Kong - the only photo we have of him.

They were granted refugee status in Hong Kong. My dad found work at a Chinese restaurant on Ap Liu Street, and my mum got a job at a local factory assembling children’s dolls. But she struggled to keep up with the pace of the work and was eventually let go. Shortly after, my sister was born on 30th December 1979.

1980

Sham Shui Po Barracks was a British Army facility built in the 1920s in the Sham Shui Po area of Kowloon, Hong Kong. It was later converted into a refugee camp in June 1979, so my parents were among the first arrivals there.

My mum spent most of her time inside the camp with my sister and aunt, only going out to the market for groceries, so she never became very familiar with Hong Kong.

Although people were friendly, there was a strict curfew, and the camp often felt like a prison, with refugees confined within gated walls.

Dad with my big sister, Aunt with my cousin and mum with my big sister. Hong Kong 1980

I remember taking my mum back to Hong Kong in 2008, but she could not remember where they had lived. It was not until we returned again in 2012 that my dad was able to take us back to where they used to live.

Here is a photo of mum and dad standing at the old site of the Sham Shui Po refugee centre, which is now Sham Shui Po Park, Hong Kong taken on 25th April 2012

1981

Sham Shui Po camp was due to close at the end of March 1981, so refugees were relocated to other camps or resettled across the world. My uncles, aunts and parents were dispersed to different countries, including the US, Canada, China and the UK.

My parents moved to Chepstow in Wales on 19th February 1981 and stayed at St Anne’s Recreation Centre, which had been set up as a refugee camp and was run by a group of kind-hearted nuns. They helped my parents settle into life in the UK, teaching them basic English and helping them obtain their National Insurance numbers.

My parents only ever had good things to say about their time there.

Mum gave birth to my brother on 14th October 1981.

1982

Early 1982 Mum, Dad, big sister and brother moved to London and set roots in South East London.

London Zoo was one of their favourite attractions.

1983

Not knowing much English, my dad found work at a Chinese restaurant in Chinatown. With a stable job and a permanent address, my parents were then able to sponsor my uncle Dau on my mum’s side and my uncle Suan on my dad’s side to move over from Ningming, China.

1984

I was born around the same time my two uncles finally arrived on a flight from Hong Kong. They moved in with us, although not long after, my uncle Suan moved to Manchester for work, where he stayed with my great aunt and uncle.

Shortly after I was born, my mum fell ill, so I spent most of my first year being cared for by my dad until she recovered.

1985

My mum’s uncle opened a textile business, so my dad left his job at the restaurant and began working from home with my mum, sewing clothing for my great uncle. It meant they could both be around more while we were growing up.

My dad loved music and was always playing his favourite records.

1986

My uncle Suan met his fiancée in Manchester, and they later moved back to my parents’ home. They got married in May, just a few days after my second youngest sister was born. Shortly after, the council offered them a property across the road to move into.

As my parents could not read much English at the time, they often had to guess what things were in the supermarket - luckily, most of it was obvious enough.

1987

By November 1987, my youngest sister was born, and from then on, our family memories have been filled with happiness.

In 1991, my dad bought a camcorder and became our family cameraman for the next 10 years. There were times when my parents considered opening their own takeaway, but they saw how little time our relatives were able to spend with their children once they started their businesses. My parents did not want that, so they chose to continue working for others and prioritise time with the family.

The Next 30 years...

It was not easy bringing up five children. My parents worked long hours, often into the early hours of the morning, to make sure we were well fed, well dressed, and had everything a child could wish for.

On their days off, they always made time for us - taking us to the park, the zoo, the seaside, or visiting friends.

As we grew into adults, we made sure to give back twice the love our parents had given us, never forgetting the hardships they went through to build a life here for us.

During this time, my parents also went to college to improve their English and learn computer skills.

My dad was a big foodie, and my mum loved to travel, so we made sure to go on regular family trips and have family dinners whenever we could.

They were great sports and so much fun to be around.